Late night musings:
I am getting ready to launch a fresh blog and there is so much swirling through my head as I contemplate life and the direction the last couple months have taken me.
On the tail end of a second wind of online dating, I decided to take a pause from getting to know and investing in other people. There were a lot of factors that propelled me in that direction.
There was the continuation of the threats that Covid-19 pose, a messy ending to a new friendship, some rejection, a lot of ugly but needed boundary setting, and an emerging feeling of needing to prove myself over and over again. Top that off with other personal issues involving my kids, and I’m sure no one would fault me for wanting to write off men entirely.
But there was also something else. A tiny little seedling of life that was changing from sprout to flower and to the promise of undiscovered fruit. So many of the last years of my life have been spent living in survival and in the long process of healing from trauma. I have been drained and exhausted, and have placed so many of my dreams on hold so that I could just put my head down and build stability for my children after a rocky marriage and disheartening divorce.
For the first time in almost a decade, I started to remember the things that make my heart beat and fill me with excitement for life. Dreams, goals, passion, purpose. I realized that the next investment I made needed to be in rediscovering these things and giving myself a chance to fully embrace the navigation wheel in my life.
Passivity was no longer an option. I was going to become fully engaged in learning, supporting, and guiding me to my truest self, to live the life only I could live and give myself.
That has been my journey these past couple months and so many awesome things have happened during that time. So many things that I can’t wait to share with you all.
I’m laying here exhausted yet again. I’ve been working hard and at the end of the day I’m beat, but everyday is spent alive in my dreams and hopes for my today and for my future. I’m excited to invite you all along in my journey as each new turn on the path is revealed one beautiful and courageously trepidacious step at a time.
Hitting post means that I’m laying my heart on the line with you all, but I know that it is safe at least with me and I’m never giving up on it. So here’s to me and my hope that you will be inspired to take your very own journey to knowing, understanding, investing in, and sharing all that you are with a world in need of what you have to offer.
Without further ado, come see what I’ve been working on, and tag along as more is revealed over time. I can’t promise you anything great, but I know I’d be happy to have you along for the ride!
Crystal
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