Skip to main content

Welcome to Crystal the Artist


Late night musings:

I am getting ready to launch a fresh blog and there is so much swirling through my head as I contemplate life and the direction the last couple months have taken me.

On the tail end of a second wind of online dating, I decided to take a pause from getting to know and investing in other people. There were a lot of factors that propelled me in that direction.

There was the continuation of the threats that Covid-19 pose, a messy ending to a new friendship, some rejection, a lot of ugly but needed boundary setting, and an emerging feeling of needing to prove myself over and over again. Top that off with other personal issues involving my kids, and I’m sure no one would fault me for wanting to write off men entirely.

But there was also something else. A tiny little seedling of life that was changing from sprout to flower and to the promise of undiscovered fruit. So many of the last years of my life have been spent living in survival and in the long process of healing from trauma. I have been drained and exhausted, and have placed so many of my dreams on hold so that I could just put my head down and build stability for my children after a rocky marriage and disheartening divorce.

For the first time in almost a decade, I started to remember the things that make my heart beat and fill me with excitement for life. Dreams, goals, passion, purpose. I realized that the next investment I made needed to be in rediscovering these things and giving myself a chance to fully embrace the navigation wheel in my life.

Passivity was no longer an option. I was going to become fully engaged in learning, supporting, and guiding me to my truest self, to live the life only I could live and give myself.

That has been my journey these past couple months and so many awesome things have happened during that time. So many things that I can’t wait to share with you all.

I’m laying here exhausted yet again. I’ve been working hard and at the end of the day I’m beat, but everyday is spent alive in my dreams and hopes for my today and for my future. I’m excited to invite you all along in my journey as each new turn on the path is revealed one beautiful and courageously trepidacious step at a time.

Hitting post means that I’m laying my heart on the line with you all, but I know that it is safe at least with me and I’m never giving up on it. So here’s to me and my hope that you will be inspired to take your very own journey to knowing, understanding, investing in, and sharing all that you are with a world in need of what you have to offer.

Without further ado, come see what I’ve been working on, and tag along as more is revealed over time. I can’t promise you anything great, but I know I’d be happy to have you along for the ride!

Crystal
www.crystaltheartist.com

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Next Brene Brown

The other day I told my story in depth to another new therapist that I've been seeing for a couple months now. It was shared without tears, stated without question, spoken matter of factly. After I was done filling in the details, she stopped me and said, "I understand better now. In your charts it says you had a psychotic break, and I want to be sure that you understand now that you didn't just have a psychotic break, you suffered deeply from PTSD, which lead into a state of psychosis." God, I love my new therapist. She went on to explain that as we tell our stories and start to open up about the traumas that we have suffered through, we begin to understand better and normalize tragedies that women (and men too) everywhere face. We begin to understand that there hasn't been something wrong with us, but there was a lot of wrong done to us. I said, "Yeah, Brene Brown also had a break down and look where she is now!" She is doing so much great work that im
2 comments
Read more

What's So Dandy About Cleaning?

Ten years ago, a dream was paced in my heart to return to school for business so I could learn how to develop an organization that would help meet the needs of the most vulnerable. I had a heartstring dedicated to serving single mamas and their children, and I was currently doing everything I could to help support the ones that I knew in my own life. As a married woman with four young children under wing, my service to others often looked like providing childcare alongside my own children. This showed up in my life as opening my home to others, sometimes even during odd hours of the day and night. I was happy to help, knowing that my home was a safe place for struggling mamas to leave their children while they worked hard at a job or at pursuing a continuing education. Little did I know just what my own education would entail to get me to the place of service where I desired to be. Two years into my return to school, I found myself facing extenuating circumstances. With a full educatio
Post a Comment
Read more

Today I Could Have Been Married for More Than Half my Lifetime

  I don't know how I got there or for how long I had been standing within the frame of the door. All I know is that my arms were reaching high over my head and I was pushing against all odds, and against the weight of the crumbling building around me. There were holes in the ceiling and cracks in the walls. The whole structure was shaking, but I stood there with defiant desperation. I would not let it fall. My feet were firmly planted and every ounce of my strength was invested into a false hope of holding up what would have surely crushed me had his arm not reached in and saved me. With one strong and steady swoop I was pulled far from harm's way. In that moment, everything crumbled into a heap on the ground. My dreams, my hopes, my effort, all that I had fought so hard for, everything the building had meant to me. It all came crumbling down. I wanted to be angry, and only briefly felt an overwhelming sadness, before I realized that my life had been spared. I could have been c
2 comments
Read more