Skip to main content

If You Want to Know the Truth...

If you want to know the truth:

I'm pretty sure I'll fail, over and over again.

But I'm going to keep on trying,

Every single time.

My dream isn't to open a studio,

or buy a house,

or make an incredible amount of money.

It isn't even to travel, 

or see the world.

My dream is to be there for my children,

and to provide everything I know they deserve from me.

My dream is to see them flourish.

I'd give anything to make that happen.

I'd devote my whole life to never giving up,

Just to give them a better chance.

If you want to know the truth:

I have more insecurities than confidence.

I think more of you than I'll ever think of me.

 I have days that I talk myself into just taking that next best step.

Sometimes it's a shower,

or a drink of water,

or healthy food.

Sometimes it's a phone call,

or starting a marketing campaign.

Most days it's a nap,

Then getting back up to continue the day,

One more step at a time.

If you want to know the truth:

I don't expect to make a big difference in the world.

But I pray for a big difference to take place in me.

I want to learn, grow, connect,

and understand how to be a better friend.

Every single day.

I'll probably belly flop in life.

I'm okay with that,

As long as I have loved well.

I'd give up just about anything to love well-

One person, one friend, one neighbor at a time.

Belly flops still cause ripples.

If you want to know the truth:

Just ask me anything.

I'm an open book.

I might take my time to formulate my words,

But I'll give you an honest answer.

I'll look deep and fight for the truth to surface.

Other times, words will dance unreservedly off my tongue.

I'm right here.

Try me.

If you want to know the truth:

Seek it out,

Invite it in,

Look deep,

Never settle,

Keep on searching,

Always question,

Start with you,

Look in the mirror of reflecting waters,

The softness of wild streams shapes the planted rock

It refreshes the traveling soul.

Choose your medicine with gladness.

If you want to know the truth,

Find it one courageous and trepidacious step at a time.


  1. Love your work, and your honesty, the humble inherit the earth, and even if we never get to meet up again, I know I will see you again, we still cherish the photos you took of our family in the nature park, love and prayers to you and your beautiful children

    1. Thank you, Heather! I appreciate your kind and encouraging words! <3


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Today I Could Have Been Married for More Than Half my Lifetime

  I don't know how I got there or for how long I had been standing within the frame of the door. All I know is that my arms were reaching high over my head and I was pushing against all odds, and against the weight of the crumbling building around me. There were holes in the ceiling and cracks in the walls. The whole structure was shaking, but I stood there with defiant desperation. I would not let it fall. My feet were firmly planted and every ounce of my strength was invested into a false hope of holding up what would have surely crushed me had his arm not reached in and saved me. With one strong and steady swoop I was pulled far from harm's way. In that moment, everything crumbled into a heap on the ground. My dreams, my hopes, my effort, all that I had fought so hard for, everything the building had meant to me. It all came crumbling down. I wanted to be angry, and only briefly felt an overwhelming sadness, before I realized that my life had been spared. I could have been c

Welcome to Crystal the Artist

Late night musings: I am getting ready to launch a fresh blog and there is so much swirling through my head as I contemplate life and the direction the last couple months have taken me. On the tail end of a second wind of online dating, I decided to take a pause from getting to know and investing in other people. There were a lot of factors that propelled me in that direction. There was the continuation of the threats that Covid-19 pose, a messy ending to a new friendship, some rejection, a lot of ugly but needed boundary setting, and an emerging feeling of needing to prove myself over and over again. Top that off with other personal issues involving my kids, and I’m sure no one would fault me for wanting to write off men entirely. But there was also something else. A tiny little seedling of life that was changing from sprout to flower and to the promise of undiscovered fruit. So many of the last years of my life have been spent living in survival and in the long process of healing fro